I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
