my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just want to make out with him forever
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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