called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
