He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
