Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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