The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
