somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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