She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
