at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
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FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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