Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
