i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize