It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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