I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we're making bets on your personal life
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
