I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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