sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Mom said you looked used
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
