I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
