I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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