I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
