she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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