I am puke
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Boobs speak an international language.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize