the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
