how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
