3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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