haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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