"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
