Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
