The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
