Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
