Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
