i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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