His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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