508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
