Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
ttyl tear gas
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
