apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize