Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
