By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
