So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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