Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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