i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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