Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
