I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
