There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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