yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
