i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
