Where did you get a picture of my penis
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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