Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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