Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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