that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
