Christians are straight up FREAKS
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
