I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
