I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize