Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You may now shotgun with the bride
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
