tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize