dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
