I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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