Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
