Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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