Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
