have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
