Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
